A lot of the patterns we run in our nervous system - things like low self esteem and self worth, inability to stay focused, inability to make wholesome decisions for ourselves, negative or undermining self talk, difficulty starting or completing projects, feelings of depression or low energy, to name a few - are patterns that developed in childhood. They are the results of the environments we spent time in, like our biological family systems, and early experiences we had in school, church and within our peer group(s). And more often than not, they were formed with incomplete information.
You may be wondering “What does she mean by incomplete information?”
More often than not, any feelings of inadequacy developed as the result of some one else’s idea of what “such and such” should have looked like. They are the result of one point of view; namely the person or people who installed or imprinted certain experiences within you. And, over time that “experience or imprint” developed into the patterns that you are living with today.
Part of unwinding early childhood experiences, family conditioning and the process of addressing legacy material, is making sure you did not buy into another person's "internal story" about who you were or whatever was occurring that left an imprint on you.
So here’s the deal, any opinion someone developed about you is their business not yours. They formed it; they own it.
When you take the time to unwind any destructive patterns or triggers that are running your neuromuscular system, you begin the process I call taking up the leadership of your life.
What you’ll learn in this process of unwinding wounding, including any long standing issues of low self esteem and feelings of inadequacy, guilt, shame, co-arising with a sense of chaos, anxiety and overwhelm, is that these feelings are a sign of a nervous system at odds with itself. A nervous system at odds with the imprints from childhood that were counter to the “innocence” of who you were as a developing child.
These old imprints are running a mock in your neural structures and they are competing with your highest, brightest, clearest and most coherent self.
You are not the opinions of the adults or peers from childhood and young adulthood. You are an open-ended journey of discovery, of growth, of learning, of trying life on and figuring out if you like what you tried and if not, you try again.
Just for this moment, remember that life is a moving expression of do something, learn something and, try again.
And remember, no attempt is final.... until you stop trying.